Wishing for Mania: The Most Dangerous Productivity Hack I know
So many times, I look forward to a manic episode. I know, I know. That sounds wild. But hear me out. I’ll be buried in laundry, late on three deadlines, and my daughter will need help with a school project. And I’ll think:
“Ugh, I wish I was manic.”
Manic Me is a force. She doesn’t need coffee. She is coffee. She gets so much done.
I remodel the house, reorganize the kitchen, build systems and chore charts, and take on craft projects I wouldn’t touch in a normal state. It’s like I drink six Red Bulls and suddenly become the CEO of Home Improvement. If you’ve ever lived with bipolar disorder, you probably get it.
My last full blown manic episode I remodeled my entire kitchen, reorganized my laundry room, remodeled, reorganized and stocked my craft room. I rotated my home décor every single season, and was always on top of cleaning, dishes, and vacuuming. And for a second, it feels like I’ve hacked the system. Like I found this secret energy level that mere mortals only dream of.
If only I could bottle that energy. But I can’t.
But the thing about manic energy?
It comes at a cost.
What I don’t Notice While I’m Thriving
The part I don’t notice while I’m remaking my whole life?
- I’m snapping at my daughter for breathing too loud.
- I’m yelling over plans changing.
- I’m crying in the car because I missed a green light.
- I haven’t eaten food in two days and somehow drank nine cups of coffee.
- I am…spending. Like, really spending.
And then? Once again, my credit cards are maxed out.
Not proud of it. Definitely not the first time. And I’d love to say it’s the last, but… I’ve learned not to make promises when it comes to my manic brain.
The Crash Is Never Cute
Right behind that productive superwoman is the crash. A massive, soul-sucking depressive episode that drags me down for days, sometimes weeks, and yup, even months. I can’t get out of bed. I cancel everything. I ghost people. I feel like a failure. Everything feels huge. The house is a mess again. I’m a mess again. I go from Pinterest-perfect to hiding under my comforter, eating cereal from the box.
Can I Steal the Energy Without the Explosion?
I’ve been wondering: is there a way to hone the magic of mania without burning everything down?
Here’s what I’ve been trying lately:
- Tracking my mood so I can catch the early warning signs like erratic sleep patterns, and tons of new ideas.
- Channeling energy safely, like working in short bursts, but pausing to purposely eat and drink.
- Asking for accountability by asking my husband to point out when he notices extreme mood changes.
- Scheduling breaks to avoid feeling overloaded and overwhelmed.
- Taking my meds even when I feel “amazing” and I’m doing fine (because we know what that means).
It’s not perfect. But it helps.
Because what I really want isn’t mania. It’s to feel capable.
Clear-headed. In control.
And I don’t have to be manic to get there. I just have to build a system that works for me on the in-between days. And snacks. Always snacks.
The Truth About the Highs (and the Crash)
I’ll be honest. I still get those sneaking thoughts sometimes. The ones that whisper, “You’d get so much done if you were manic right now…”
But then I remember what follows: the tears, the mess, the shame, the climb back out of depression.
So here’s the question I’ve had to face:
Is the productivity of mania worth the fallout that follows?
Short answer: Nope
Long answer: Still nope, but let’s talk about it.
Your Turn: Let’s Talk About It
Have you ever wished for a manic episode just to feel “on top of it all”? do you ever miss the highs, even when you know the lows are right behind them?
Let’s have an honest convo in the comments. Or send me a message. We’re not alone in this, and that matters more than any color-coded to-do list ever will.